Basic Humanity

It is amazing that all it takes to be looked upon like a hero in this celebrity-obsessed world is to not act like an entitled asshole all of the time. Today Christian Bale went (sans media, we only found out about this because people update their Facebook incessantly) to visit the victims of the Colorado shootings and the memorial set up for the victims who lost their lives. Bale is no stranger to acting like a dick, but good for him.

How do they make ends meet????

So apparently being in a rapidly declining sitcom is still very profitable, as today we found out that the cast of Modern Family is unhappy with their compensation. The main cast, with the exception of Ed O'Neill, makes about $65,000 a week during shooting (Ed makes $105,000). I'm no math genius, but that comes out to about $1.43 million for 5-6 months of work. They are holding out for raises to about $200,000 per episode (with O'Neill of course getting proportionally more).

Now, here is where I would normally rail against the machine, where I would deride these fools as money-hungry fame-whores. But the reality is, they should make more than they do. The studio that produces the show is making a killing already and with Modern Family about to go into syndication, they are about to start making the big money. The cast should enjoy some of those benefits.

The kicker is going to come in when the new reality of television starts affecting things like syndication deals. I mean what kind of staying power will this show have? People still like watching Seinfeld, but millions more people were watching Seinfeld than have ever watched Modern Family... Are the millions and millions of dollars really out there?

Either way, for a show that I enjoyed as much as I did two years ago, quite frankly I've stopped watching it. I mean, I'll stop by if I see Sofia Vergara on my television screen, but otherwise complacent characterization and lazy writing have killed any interest I have in seeing where this show goes in the future.

Cuz I'm Batman...

So I saw the new Batman movie the other night. So how was the conclusion to the Nolan’s vision? I have read a number of reviews and critics who are underwhelmed by what The Dark Knight Rises is, but as a general movie-goer (certainly not a comic-book fan by any stretch), I was more than satisfied. It wasn’t the greatest movie ever made, but what is?

I really enjoyed the different performances in the film. I have never been a fan of Anne Hathaway, but she made me a convert in this film. It might have been the leather suit, or it just could have been the personality that she brought to what could have been a very dark film. I liked that fact that Christian Bale was allowed to spend most of his time not growling as Batman, but the film allowed him to actually act a bit as a human being.

So where does Batman go from here? I dunno, I’d like to think that there really isn’t anywhere to go, that the story is complete, but we all know that where there is money to be made, that Hollywood will try and make it. I hope that they try for another lightning strike and find a young filmmaker that will come in with a strong vision and aesthetic to take the source material and go someplace new and interesting. I hope, but I am not hopeful. We all know where this is going (we can go see Spiderman as an example), so we should just enjoy the good Batman while we can.

Bells of Recantation 7/21/12

When I drive around this valley of sun/death/heat I end up listening to a shit-ton of sports radio. My least favorite radio program is the Doug and Wolf show (actually this isn't true: to use one of my favorite/overused phrases, if I could light Colin Cowherd on fire and then kick him down four or five flights of stairs I would), but they have a bit they do when they have to recant on an opinion. They start ringing bells, and they have the 'Bells of Recantation' which of course I am going to steal.

So what am I recanting on? Well, Britta of course. I have been an avid Community watcher/fan since the beginning. It is a great little slice of television absurdity, but that first season, the only sour note was Gillian Jacobs as Britta Perry. Initially conceived as a love interest for Joel McHale's character, she usually just came off shrewish and condescending. So I, like most normal people despised her.

By the end of season one though, the writers had figured out they had a Britta problem and made some changes to her personality. They didn't make her different, but rather they changed how they approached her smugness and superior attitude and made her 'the worst.' In the vernacular of the show, when you have made a GOB-style huge mistake, you've Britta-ed it. Which has allowed Gillian Jacobs to become one of my favorite parts of the show.

Heading into this fourth season of Community with all of the questions surrounding the change of showrunner and writing staff, I just hope that they allow Britta to continue on her path to enlightenment, where she will of course screw it up somehow...

Takin' Care of Business...

I had a logical, well reasoned post about Fred's arrest this morning all ready to post. Then I went to twitter and saw that Chrissy Teigen had boiled the situation down to its essential point:

what the fuck? who DOESN'T masturbate in a porn theater? are there any other options? no one is eating sour patch kids and dibs

Boom, she's pretty and she has great common sense...

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader!!!

So it's Batman time again and people are already grousing about whether or not the movie is good, or whether or not Nolan is a good film-maker, or whether or not Batman's voice is a hate-crime against movie-goers. The argument as to Nolan's talents is an interesting one to me. He is accused of being too literal by many critics which is a fascinating thing to me to understand.

The criticism started picking up steam with The Dark Knight and really got going with Inception. He is often accused of not showing his ideas, but rather telling them through dialogue and exposition. Which I kind of agree with, but after watching most of Nolan's work, I would argue that these are more stylistic choices than any inherent flaw of Nolan's movie-making.

From my own perspective, the biggest problem most people have is a disconnect between expectation and execution. People want campy Batman, or some sort of French New Wave auteur, or David Lynch or something. Instead, Nolan gives them an earnest, almost abrasive storytelling style that reflects a clear, analytic, almost cold perspective that Nolan has towards his subjects. It is shocking to me that he has become a director of blockbusters because if you look at his work it is not for the faint of heart or the simple of mind.

Is Christopher Nolan a great film-maker? I don't know enough about film to say yes or now, but he knows how to create films that can challenge, intrigue, and resonate. I'd rather spend my money this way than by lining Michael Bay's pockets.

Slice of Life

So I was heading into work today and made my customary stop at the QT on 52nd and University. I go into the restroom and was hit in the face with the overwhelming smell of human waste. This is noteworthy due to how clean the QT usually keeps their restrooms. I have to wait in a short line to take care of my business, which again was strange, and you can just hear this guy taking a HEROIC shit. I mean just epic. Anyway some time passes, I take care of my stuff and am washing my hands as the door to the toilet flies open and this dude staggers out looking dazed and/or confused. He pauses in front of the mirror and walks out, not bothering to, you know, wash his hands or anything.

He then goes and grabs a 44 ounce cup, fills it with soda and waltzes up to the counter like he's not spreading hepatitis c just by walking through the place. I wanted to throw up.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

The Gambler

I hate Pete Rose almost as much as I hate any Dodger. In fact, I think that he should only get into the Hall of Fame after they let his many ex-wives kick him in the junk and light him on fire. Although it would have to be a kick-ass fire... I only bring this up because there is supposedly a reality show in the works starring this freak. I'm betting it only gets a couple of episodes before it goes off the air...

But you know the only reason that anyone is going to sit and watch this creative abortion is Pete's girlfriend looks like this:

Although to be fair, she has been so Photoshopped that she could really be a Thai ladyboy named Panit for all we know. Either way though I'm going to pass, so thanks Pete, for nothing.

You've Been Warned!!!

So I'm reading my Facebook feed as best I can this morning (can they please stop fucking it up anymore? Please?) and this picture pops up. I'm kind of at a loss to even try to make a pithy comment due to the fact that you have a woman with a huge Slayer tattoo on her stomach. I mean really if you see her like this, you have been warned that she is insane and likely to remove parts of you if you actually talk to her. No matter what she does from here on out - murder hobos on the street, rob banks, or try to eat someone's face off in a rage - people will see that tattoo and think to themselves, "well, yeah just look at that tattoo..."

That and you just know she's got VD...

So yeah....

That didn't work out so well. Apparently I don't have that many PG rated takes on things... Anyway, I've been busy working and not doing anything productive, so I have decided to blow up my blog. So, fair warning...