The Hero of the Week...

This week is Olivia Wilde. She took one for the team by angering millions of Beiber fans by telling him to put a fucking shirt on. That was akin to a celebrity fatwa on the Beiber's cool factor. You wouldn't think that fulfilling the basic requirements to get into a 7-11 would be a controversial stance, but apparently it was. Thanks Olivia, hopefully you don't get shanked on the red carpet shilling that shitty new movie you're in.

Go Ask Alice...

So I was browsing the interwebz and ran across this picture... I'm not sure if I have any snarky comment or whatever... just that there must be something in the water there in the UK where they keep cranking out these busty models. It is a vital service for which I thank them...

JLH...

Apparently Jennifer Love Hewitt had a rare moment of self-awareness last week when she talked about how she needs to insure her only marketable asset, her chest. My question is really what are they being insured for? Acid attacks? Disfiguring plagues? Unsightly sagging? All I know is that at this point we're only a Lifetime cancellation away from JLH going Halle Berry and leveraging her tits into some sort of bad movie cameo. Which, quite frankly, I can get behind... but then again, I am a pig.

Ewww....

So I read this on the AVClub website today:

Andrew W.K. may occasionally have a bloody face and a sweaty body but, if one of his new corporate partners is to be believed, he absolutely never has a dirty crotch. The king of partying has partnered with Playtex’s new Fresh + Sexy Wipes, which W.K. says are “specially designed to help couples feel confidently clean, before and after they engage in sexual activity!” And who better to promote the hygienic exchange of intimate bodily fluids than Andrew W.K., since Terrence Howard must not have been available?

W.K. is apparently so serious about keeping your genitals clean that he’ll even headline The Fresh + Sexy Black Booth Confessional Party at SXSW where he’ll be doling out free samples and inviting hot, sweaty, drunk patrons into a "confession booth." There they'll get all hot and heavy and dish “stories about those exciting and spontaneous moments where they could have used Fresh + Sexy Wipes,” such as the time they crammed into a tiny booth with Andrew W.K. at a SXSW party.

 I can appreciate that Playtex has found a new market to try and exploit, but damn this is a disgusting way to do it.

Go the Hell Away!

I was reading today that Casey Anthony was in court talking about why she's in bankruptcy. She has about $1000 in assets and owes somewhere around $750,000. That's so sad, in fact that makes me so sad that I might just want to murder a child, except I'm not a narcissistic asshole who murders children when they cramp their style.

Maybe she should just shut the hell up and go away before the Karma figures out she's not rotting in jail and Zeus strikes her down to Hel so she can rot with all of the demons. Yes, I know these are all from separate mythologies, but guess what? Everyone hates that murdering bitch, so everyone wants to play.

Stop. Just Stop.

So I'm a little late on this topic, but I am never one to pass up a good bikini picture so here it is...

I have about had it with people talking about how Kate Upton is fat, or that she is making it okay for 'curvy' models or any of that other bullshit. She is about making it okay for a bikini model to have big boobs and that's about it. She is not curvy, she actually has no hips at all. She isn't so skinny her ribs stick out but I'd guess that she's probably a size above 0 which makes her huge in that business but if you saw her in person you'd probably say "Hey, who's the skinny girl with big tits?" Anyway, so I guess my point is, enough with how she's an inspiration or the devil or whatever. She's a bikini model, she hasn't cured Autism or anything so let's give it a rest.