1. Chuck – needs to sack up and stop acting like a whiner with a sandy vag. Oh, my fake girlfriend killed a guy that wanted to kill me. Boo Hoo! I enjoy the show, but at some point, doesn’t Chuck have to act like this isn’t the first time at the rodeo?
2. Hitler’s Birthday – apparently there is a little ‘un whose wise and astute parents named Adolf Hitler Campbell. Now, the local Shop-Rite refuses to personalize a cake for the little racist, and the parents are bewildered. Really? What was their first clue there might be a problem? I’m sure that the boy’s best friends Pol-Pot and Stalin are accepting, but the parents here really need to be neutered or put down themselves. For the rest of us. Seriously.
3. MONSTER!!!! What the hell happened to Goldie Hawn??? She has never been attractive, but it looks like her face is collapsing in on itself. I’m just glad that it isn’t Halloween or she might get staked before anyone realized that she isn’t a zombie or vampire or something.
4. Freaks - I'll close with part of an article I read off of cnn.com. People say that men are strange and perverted. Hopefully this can add some balance to the conversation. Where do they find these people?
Nearly half of the women questioned by Harris Interactive said they'd be willing to forgo sex for two weeks, rather than give up their Internet access, according to a study released Monday by Intel, which commissioned the survey.
While 46 percent of the women surveyed were willing to engage in abstinence versus losing their Internet, only 30 percent of the men surveyed were willing to do likewise.
The U.S. survey, which queried 2,119 adults last month, found that the gap grew even wider for both men and woman who were 18 to 34 years old. For woman, the percentage of those willing to skip the sheets in favor of the Web rose to 49 percent, while it climbed to 39 percent for men. And for women 35 to 44 years old, the figure jumped to 52 percent.
So today I’m reading about the myths of Theseus and the origins of Athens and I see that King Minos was cursed by his jealous wife so that when he would consummate his relationship with his mistresses, he did not ejaculate semen, but rather spiders and scorpions that would eat the genitals of his mistresses. That is a kick-ass curse and a handy bit of knowledge. It would certainly dissuade the young maidens of the kingdom, don't you think? Who said learning about ancient civilizations and mythologies was boring? No word on whether or not King Minos penned the bitchin' tune "Blackout."
Well, it’s been a couple of weeks, and I’ve got all of this pent up bitchiness, so here goes:
1. Guns and Roses – is suing Dr. Pepper for ruining their good name when Dr. Pepper’s web servers were overloaded last week giving out free Dr. Pepper coupons. For ruining Guns and Roses good name. Really?? I would have thought that firing everyone in the band, replacing them with less talented guys, canceling gigs, stealing $15 million from David Geffen and whoever was stupid enough to buy his company, and recording the same 15 shitty songs over and over again might have had a little bit to do with that. That’s just me. Oh, yeah, in case there’s any doubt: Fuck Axl Rose, where's my soda?
2. Beautiful Children – is a book that attempts to weave the lives of several disparate characters together into some sort of haunting tale about a missing kid. Well isn’t that special, a feel-good MFA project. Too bad the missing kid character is a monumental shithead and when he goes off running into the Las Vegas desert, the reader has wasted 400 pages of reading that could have been better used by reading the used newspaper that lines hampster cages. Sometimes MFA writers produce good work, like The Historian, other times we get 400 pages of word barf by a pretentious jackass.
3. Gas Prices – are going down and now we are hearing about how dwindling oil profits are a bad thing. Seeing as how the oil industry has been raping the public for the last few years, I’ll just have to choke down giving them less money. Maybe they could come out with some more ‘humanizing’ commercials showing how they are tightening their belts. The only belt tightening I want to see out of the oil industry is the one around their neck while they swing gently from the shower curtain rod.
4. The Arrested Development – movie seems to be on track, which scares the crap out of me. I’m still not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing. In theory, this could be fantastic, just like in theory, Van Halen bringing David Lee Roth back would be good, but then you get that last Van Halen tour and ouch. I don’t know if I want to find out who is going to be the Arrested Development movie’s Wolfgang.
5. Kick-ass 80’s Song of the week – is going with Whitesnake. These guys remind me so much of Spinal Tap’s interview with Marti DiBergi where they talk about why their audience is primarily teenage males. I heard an interview with David Cloverdale back in the day where he was asked nearly the same question, with hilarious results.
6. Bonus Song – I just felt like listening to this song. It reminds me of football practice and being 15, which was too damn long ago.
7. Amare Stoudamire – needs to shut the hell up and learn to play basketball without the bal in his hands. He’s got ridiculous game, but he can’t play d, doesn’t rebound, and keeps talking about how he needs to be the man. Hey Amare, be a man, shut up and play. Either that or enjoy playing in Sacramento, the armpit of California.
8. Plaxico – on to another petulant little bitch, let’s talk about Plaxico Burress, the New York wide receiver who cannot make meetings or other team events, but then holds out for more money. The same guy who last week went to a club and New York and shot himself in the leg when his .40 Glock went off “accidentally.” Sorry, I have to call bullshit. Anyone who has ever shot a Glock can tell you they don’t just go off. This isn’t some television writer’s dream of being gun crazy, a Glock takes deliberate, conscious effort to fire, Plax was just being a dumb ass. Either way, he needs to go away, as people like him are the reason the average human has so much contempt for professional athletes. My favorite part of the story was his clubbin' sweatpants that he was wearing. Classy. Just watch yourself Plax, where you are likely headed next, you might just bunk up with a killer or kidnapper, which brings us to…
9. The Juice – sometime today Orenthal Simpson was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Tragically, the two people he killed are not the reason for his incarceration, rather he is going to jail due to even more stupidity. There is a generation of Americans who only know Simpson as a murderer, which is lucky for them, as they didn’t have to see an athlete fall from grace harder than anyone else, ever. I’m just glad that he’s going away finally. Let’s take a moment to mourn for the true victims of OJ’s latest crime: the strippers, hookers, and pathetic lonely women in LA/Vegas/Miami who can no longer use OJ to fame whore for five or six minutes.
10. Jaime Spears – is threatening to sue for some reason or other. Is there a good reason why I know this young lady’s name? I didn’t think so. Hey Jaime and Lynn Spears, have a nice glass of STFU.
I love when people can make fun of themselves. Major props for Ozzy's people, as I don't think he knows who he is anymore, he just does what he's told.
Finally, we have photographic proof that supermodels are better than the rest of us (see, that there was a clever statement. What other kind of proof could we have?). The Victoria's Secret model on the far left of this picture, Alessandra Ambrosio, had a baby two months ago. This picture was taken this week. First it was Heidi Klum, now this. Are they ramping up the effort to create unreasonable body images for girls? Or should we just rest easy knowing that there is an impending race of super men and women ready to take over?
Update!
Sorry I had my dates wrong, this picture was taken ten weeks after her baby. That's so much more acceptable.
1. Election 2008 – is finally over. I found it fascinating how people have responded to the election of Barak Obama to the presidency. Feelings of joy, elation, and terror were all on display and I’m really not sure I fully grasp why. I can understand the joy that many black Americans felt upon the results, for a nation as great as ours can finally put the ugly specter of institutional racism to bed. For Republicans, this is a blow, but hardly the worst thing that could have happened to them. I was shocked when I heard some lady sobbing on the radio on election night at the prospect of an Obama presidency; that somehow his political views will turn her nation into, well I don’t really know. I guess that my fundamental issue with the reaction to President-elect Obama is that most people have no idea how little the presidency actually affects their life. It isn’t nearly as important as who Lindsay Lohan getting freaky with, or whether or not homosexuals are getting married.
2. The Bond Market – is no place for the weak, but it certainly is a place for kick-ass movies. The new 007 film is out this week and I’m pumped up. I’m hoping that this is as good as the last one, but I could do without another scene where he gets his nads racked with some rope. My only quibble is that Judi Densch isn’t getting any less annoying as M. If we can get a Bond re-boot, why are we wheeling out this dinosaur? If the producers want a more mature lady in charge, then I could think of 25 less annoying candidates than her. Oh well, maybe she’s the one who is going to get the genital beating this time. Whatever, as long as Denise Richards stays far away from this film it will be fine.
3. Monday Night Football – apparently being in the same building as Tony Korheiser does not automatically render you any more stupid or prone to appalling lapses in basic common sense and decency. Who knew?
4. Kick-ass 80’s Song of the Week – I’m not sure how to describe this song, other than to tell you to play it loud. Reminds me of high school.
5. The Odyssey – is a great slice of literature, but it does illustrate the inherent sexism with which much of western civilization is based. Odysseus is gone to war for twenty years; he collects war spoils (which are pretty young women stolen from conquered people), travels the Mediterranean sleeping with goddesses, and then swears vengeance against those who wanted to marry his wife, who has been sitting at home weaving a tapestry praying for her husband’s return. It’s a wonder that women haven’t risen up and smothered us all while we sleep.
6. Kid Rock – when did it become okay to just flat out rip another artist off musically, put your own mediocre lyrics to it and call it good? Can I just rewrite the lyrics to Unchained and become famous? Or do I have to risk hepatitis and sleep with Pamela Anderson, then get in fights at the local Waffle House first? Unlike Buster, I don’t have a thing for leathery snappy things so I’ll pass on Pam.
7. 30 Rock – is just killing this season. Last night’s Night Court reunion was perfect. The only drawback was the fact that there was no Bull. Hell, dig that bastard’s corpse up if you need to, but make it happen.
8. Thanksgiving is approaching – and it is time again to play the grateful game. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be giving thanks for a variety of things in this blog. As always it is assumed that I am grateful for the health and general well being of my family (I’m not a monster), but I ain’t a gonna write about that. Today I am grateful for the first six seasons of The Simpsons. Those years were among the greatest in the history of television. They were smart, funny, and subversive in ways that television today an only hope to attain. To see them continue to rape my memories like they have for over a decade now is not only sad and pathetic, it borders on criminal. Make it stop already.
No, not Yngwie Malmsteen, but Sinbad. Here's a little something for those unfortunate fools who have never watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Enjoy!
So I'm spending my Halloween evening watching The DaVinci Code on tnt, and I was just wondering if Tom Hanks got to take that rockin' wig home with him after filming the movie. It really should have it's own wiki page, it is one epic wig. I guess he could wear it every Halloween if he was going as a pretentious douche. I don't know who to call a bigger jerk, Hanks or Dan Brown, but in the spirit of Kathy Griffin (speaking of horrid rugs) they can both suck it.
Not every post needs bitchin' pictures of scantily dressed women. Here's proof. A Halloween 4, with absolutely no Halloween content.
1. Reality Television – I’m not sure what the deal is with ‘reality’ television. Common sense tells us that these shows are nearly as scripted as any other storytelling medium and they are certainly edited to the point of manipulation as the producers try to wring out the last drops of tension and crazy. Which is what drives me nuts about this crap. I am not saying I don’t watch some of these shows, Rock of Love, Top Chef, and Making the Team are the three that I’ve watched the most, but the problem I have with these shows is that they are so obviously not real. Each scenario is plotted and manipulated so each of these unbalanced fame-whores are ready to degrade themselves and each other in any way the show chooses. And we eat it up, usually rooting for the craziest person in the room.
Now there are even more shows coming as network executives see the unquenched thirst for this tripe, and the bottom line is that these shows are cheap to produce. We have shows where people compete for film roles, to be a make-up artist to the stars, and just about everything else there is to do. You know we used to have competitions for this kind of stuff before reality television, it was called life and when you applied for a job they picked the best candidate and if they didn’t work out, you got fired and they replaced you. What a colossal waste of time, money, and airspace. I long for a day when the drones that populate this world wake up and demand more for their precious time. Let’s face it, nearly all television is mindless escapism, shouldn’t we demand more from it?
2. Election Day – November 4 is drawing nearer, meaning either Obama or McCain is drawing closer to irrelevance. This seems like it is the longest election season ever. I cannot imagine how long and horrible it must have been before the days of mass communication. Ugh, why would anyone want to do that job? Must be the interns, right Billy?
3. The Best – Why do we feel the need to quantify really good things? I was watching my new favorite show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia the other day and I was starting to debate in my head where I would rank this show among my all time favorites. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going to turn into the annoying John Cusack character in High Fidelity, making inane and annoying lists about random meaningless crap? I hope not, but in the spirit of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, Arrested Development is the best. television. show. ever.
4. Wal-Mart + Irving Azoff = The Devil – Possibly the most annoying trend to roll down the pike recently is this ‘exclusive’ release by musicians into certain stores, most notably Wal-Mart. The Eagles started the trend, and let’s be honest the only trend they should be responsible for is the impending one where aging Baby Boomers drive their SUV’s off of a cliff listening to The Long Run. Anyway, the Eagles released their latest album exclusively through Wal-Mart and made millions, prompting other bands with fans that will actually buy their albums to follow suit. Azoff is like all managers, looking to squeeze every possible dime from these companies because he gets a couple of pennies from that dime. He doesn’t care what it means to anyone else. AC/DC is the latest to join the trend, but you know what? This trend sucks, because Wal-Mart sucks. Very simple math. If I have to give up a little bit of my soul just to enter and shop there, I can only imagine what deal with Satan that Azoff and these bands have to agree to for these deals. I know Sam Walton is already roasting over a slow spit in Hell, I hope they saved room for Irving Azoff, he deserves to spend his eternity with a hot poker shoved up his, well you get the idea.
Who knew that between being Playboy's Playmate of the Year in 1994 and dating "funny man" Jim Carrey, Jenny McCarthy had time to become a wizard?
I staunchly defend the right of celebs to spout off about whatever cause they come in contact with, I don't begrudge them the right to use their public profile to rally whatever attention they can muster for some greater good. I figure that if the lazy public gets duped by listening to Richard Gere, then by God they deserve what they get. McCarthy always seemed a bit different from the normal celebrity though. She always came across as a kinda kooky, not serious about herself, normal person. Then she went public with her son's diagnosis of Autism, and her subsequent fight against childhood vaccinations. Her performance on Larry King Live was a low point in that show's long history of low points. You felt bad for Ms. McCarthy but also embarrassed for her.
Now she claims to have cured her son using some special diet and, I presume, her own brand of magic. Which is, of course, bitchin'. I mean, I always knew her rack was fantastic and probably had special powers, but this is another level. Witches have always been so scary and unappealing, hopefully this is a new trend. All I know is that I am no longer going to waste my time taking my kids to the pediatrician when they are sick, I'm just going to go find the nearest Playmate I can find and have them look at them. I'll feel better anyway, at least until the divorce kicks in.
1. Celebrity Rehab – Wow, what a horrific trainwreck that show is. Steven Adler? Tawny Whatever-the-hell-her-name-is? Gary Busey? I get the fact that these people have issues, serious issues, but who was the genius in their lives who decided that letting the public witness their horrible, horrible lives and struggles was a good idea? A local radio DJ said that he feels a world without a crazy, addicted Gary Busey is no world for us to live in and I have to agree, and I’ll go a bit further. A world where it isn’t possible to see mugshots of Tawny after she has beaten her husband with a shoe is no place for us either. Maybe she can make her comback on the hood of a military-grade HUMVEE, 'cause I don’t think that the Jag can take the weight anymore.
2. Beyonce – is now Sasha Fierce, or something crazy like that. What is it about these “artists” having alternate personas? Here’s a crazy thought, why not make an album full of good songs and promote the hell out of it? Maybe she can create another persona, one where she is talented and not scary as hell and full of herself?
3. Pirates – are still holding hostages? Really? How does this happen? Didn’t the Jolly Roger flying on the galleon’s mast give the crew a hint? Are they asking for doubloons and casks of rum?
4. Bye Lute – No, not a musical instrument of course, but Lute Olson is stepping down from his job as wildcat coach. I've never met Lute, but among high school basketball coaches, I have heard too many stories about how arrogant and insufferable he is. It is nice to see the man's true colors come out. Too bad Wildcat fans, your team is going down the crapper and Tucson is still a toilet. Suck it!
5. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans – or some stupid crap like that is coming out soon. I have to ask why? No Kate Beckinsale in an Underworld movie? The only point of those crapfests is the opportunity to ogle Kate in a variety of Latex/Leather outfits. The new girl just aint cutting it either. I guess that saves me 95 minutes of my life. 95 minutes I could be reading crap on the world wide interweb.
1. Socialists (part 2) - So grumpy uncle Johnny is going on and on again about Obama's 'socialist' tax policy. Before I comment, here is a basic definition of socialism:
Socialism refers to an economic theory of social organization advocating social or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society where one's labor is the only important, individual factor of production. Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.
Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism by nature concentrates power and wealth among a small segment of society that controls capital, and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly, although there is considerable disagreement among socialists over how, and to what extent this could be achieved.
Socialism is not a discrete philosophy of fixed doctrine and program; its branches advocate a degree of social interventionism and economic rationalization, sometimes opposing each other. Another dividing feature of the socialist movement is the split on how a socialist economy should be established between the reformists and the revolutionaries.
Now, I may not have a political science background, but I can read and comprehend at a 12th grade level. I have yet to see anything out of Obama's tax plan that advocates anything to the level of socialism. If anything it is a continuation of the Bush tax cuts. For the uneducated out there, we have had a progressive tax rate here in American for decades, this does not effectively change this in any way. I guess that McCain just needs to construct another straw man to deflect attention away from his own foilbles.
2. Sexdrive - Am I the only one offended by the title of this film? I know, you look through this blog and ask yourself if Homer could actually be offended, but it is true. I mean, come on, Sexdrive? What's next the bromance, Holdin' My Wiener? If you are going to remake The Sure Thing, try to at least come up with a title I don't have to fast forward my dvr through.
3. Kick Ass Overlooked Song of the 80's - This is a new one, occasionally I will youtube up some overlooked 80's song that I like. Today's is from the great NYC metal band/project SOD. Someone used all the milk and Billy Milano ain't happy.
The ending is called "Chromatic Death" which was used for years as the Headbangers Ball theme.
4. W - Is anyone actually going to see this crapfest? To do satire, aren't you supposed to have wit? Wit and Oliver Stone have never been used together before. This stinks of a smarmy opportunity for Hollywood liberals dogpiling on the one of the worst presidents in our history. Don't revel in this folks, its sad, not funny.
5. Go Rays - I really don't have a dog in the hunt for the World Series anymore, I was actively rooting against the Dodgers, but I don't care about anything else. Well, except the fact that Red Sox fans have become insufferable, so screw the Red Sox, go Rays. Sorry Sportsguy.
I had a huge rant typed up today at school about the final presidential debate that aired last night. Yes, I was the world's greatest teacher today. Anyway, it was really bitter and profane and showed all of the logic and compassion for which I am known. As such, it was horribly flawed and unreadable. So, rather than subject the few readers I have to that, I thought I'd offer up a couple of thoughts and a picture of Kate, who I would have voted for if she were eligible. That's right, I already voted, so suck it.
1. Joe the Plumber - I really wanted to find Joe the Plumber and hit him with an ill-fitted pipe filled with sand. I'd have said a lead pipe, but they don't make them anymore. Has there ever been such a transparent attempt at 'relating' to the populace as this? By the time the debate was over I wanted not only to hit Joe, but to set fire to the advisers who included this milk-sop in their debate plan.
2. Obama is a Socialist - This is one of my favorite criticisms of Obama, and really any Democrat. Do people who spout this crap even know what a socialist is, or what the political beliefs of socialists are? Who exactly came up with a $700-$850 BILLION bailout for the banking/investment industry? The idea that Democrats are more socialist than Republicans shows a marked lack of understanding.
3. Pundits - The parade of freaks that CNN and Fox News trots out to analyze who "won" just shows that there are too many universities offering Political Science degrees. The next time I need Bill Bennett to tell me anything about values and morals, I'll be in Vegas with some random stripper who found lifestyle inspiration in the movie Showgirls.
4. Off of politics for a moment - The Dodgers lost. You suck LA.
5. The Office - seems to be enjoying a renaissance. The emergence of an evil Dwight has been outstanding and the new Toby is bitchin'. It is no "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," but the new season has been surprisingly good thus far. I think that after McCain loses this election, he could cameo on The Office as Creed's cranky older brother. I think that would be sweet.
So the Juice is in jail, just hanging out and looking forward to his appeal. Some feel he will prevail, others are hoping he endures his bi-weekly broom-handle raping with class and dignity. I'm hoping we can work something out with our British bretheren and put him in a cell with this jolly English chap:
Former Mr Gay UK 'slit lover's throat then marinated his diced flesh with fresh herbs' A gay chef murdered his lover, cut out part of his leg, seasoned it with herbs and fried it, a court has heard. Anthony Morley, 35, chewed one of the pieces before throwing it into his kitchen bin. Morley, a former holder of the Mr Gay UK title, then walked to a nearby takeaway restaurant and told horrified staff: 'I have killed someone, call the police'. Officers found the naked body of 33-year-old Damian Oldfield on the floor of Morley's bedroom, Leeds Crown Court was told. He had been stabbed 20 times and his throat cut. Morley later claimed Mr Oldfield had tried to rape him. Prosecutor Andrew Stubbs QC, warned jurors that details of the case were 'unpleasant and disturbing.'
Gee, do you really think those details were disturbing? Ah, those crazy Brits. Either way, I would love to see this guy make a Pez dispenser out of OJ. If he wants to eat him after he's dead? Well, that is a chance we'll just have to take.
Homer returns and includes a picture of my newest hero, Sarah Palin. I'm just overjoyed that Sarah can feel my pain, while she looks out of her window and gazes upon her private plane. Whore. Anyway, here's this week's Five:
1. Sarah Palin – I don’t talk much about politics due to the fact that even the most obtuse American with a functioning cerebral cortex should be able to see through the propaganda the two major parties spew. I was obviously incorrect due to the fact that for some reason or other, many voters actually feel that Sarah Palin would be a benefit to the United States as the Vice President. Let that sink in for a moment.
Sarah Palin.
Vice-President of the United States.
Now that you’re back, could someone please explain this to me? It is obvious that this woman is borderline retarded, with only the most vague idea of how to regurgitate the party line, so how exactly would this be good? Exactly how long would it be before she tries to drill a well on the White House lawn? And would living next to the Atlantic Ocean make her an expert in modern international shipping laws, or just an expert in Vikings?
2. Choke Job – No, not the new movie from the writer of Fight Club (I don’t feel like looking up how to spell his last name), but rather the imminent demise of the Chicago Cubs. Trust me, I understand what it is like to root for a bad team, I’ve been a quasi-Cardinal fan for almost twenty years now, but the euphoria that has kept the city of Chicago from jumping off of the Sears Tower during these rough economic times has been shattered by the realization that those lovable Cubbies are really just the shitty Cubs, they could win 142 games in a year and still manage to get swept in the playoffs. Hey Cubs fan, you know the loser who has lived in Phoenix their whole life and still goes to Diamondback games in full Cubs regalia, next time you are in Chase Field check out the world championship banner from 2001. It’s pretty bitchin’ to be able to actually have been alive during a championship run. Not that you’d know, bitch.
3. Celebrity Blogs – I was talking to someone the other day and they were lamenting the fact that celebrity blogs and gossip sights have overtaken porn as the most searched for topic on the world-wide-interweb. Now, you normally have to read the Economist for such hard-hitting analysis as this, but it is a telling moment for our culture. How desensitized have we become to sex that we’d rather look at pictures of those asshats from the Hills than the gentle copulation of two, three, or four lovers? Frankly, I’m not sure if this development is good or bad. . . I’ll have to ruminate upon it, while searching for porn of course.
4. It’s Always Sunny – in Phoenix, but it isn’t nearly as funny as Philadelphia. I’ve written about the show before, briefly, but no words that I can put here do this brilliant piece of comedy any justice. It is the most profane, irreverent show I have ever seen. All Mac or Charlie needs is a black puppet and I may just have to re-rank my favorite television shows. If you’re not watching this, shame on you.
5. Movie Protests – Are another favorite of mine. They are usually soo effective. Remember how horrible the box office was for Tropic Thunder after all of the retards were upset about Ben Stiller’s portrayal of Simple Jack, a mentally challenged youth? Oh, that’s right, Tropic Thunder kicked all kinds of ass including getting The Dark Knight off of the top of the charts. Well now there is another movie coming out and another group of disaffected people who are angry. This time it’s the blind. Here is a clipping from an article I found:
The National Federation of the Blind is protesting the release of the film Blindness because, as NFB president Marc Maurer says it, "The movie portrays blind people as monsters and I believe it to be a lie."
That’s where Mr. Maurer is wrong. Dead wrong. The blind are monsters. Just check out how good their hearing and sense of smell are, it’s like they are superheroes or something. The thing that Mr. Maurer doesn’t understand is that even the blind are monstrous, we can still utilize their talents and abilities for good, not just evil. Maybe he’s just trying to hide something…
As I have been known to do on a fine Saturday morning, I was perusing azcentral.com when I came across this article:
Dad chases naked teen from daughter's room with pipe
DELTONA, Fla. - An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room.Authorities say Raul Colon, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.When he heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples.Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.
Now, I'm no law enforcement officer, or even a lawyer, but why the hell was this man arrested? The fact that this had gone on for over a year automatically disqualifies him from any Father of the Year awards, but c'mon. Everyone knows that if you are sneaking into a girls house, there is a strong possibility of an ass-kicking coming. He's just lucky this was in Florida, not in Arizona or Texas where we would be reading about the tragic death of some punk kid.
The kid should just pay his hospital bills, apologize to the father of the girl and then do what any self-respecting teen-aged boy would do: go tell his friends about how that dad got in a lucky shot and how he was totally railing his girlfriend's ass before the lights went out.
Well, I haven't been here for years, but it feels like a long time. This has been my oft neglected little place on the net. I tried to keep the VanBlogger alive, but if it is just going to be me posting, I'll do it here, where it is more just my thing. I'll be posting whatever pops into mind, so settle in and welcome back to the Haven.
