So there I am watching The Soup when my eyes were accosted by a commercial of E!’s latest television abonination. Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian are in Miami and E! is going to subject the world to their inane travels. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to care about these freaks. Look, I get that Kim is pretty hot, but why exactly am I supposed to follow her uglier, and apparently less talented** and interesting** siblings on television? Is E! that hard up to fill time? I know that Holly Madison hasn’t gotten her own show yet, so there are depths to be mined here. Anyway, it made me long for the days of Senor Sock and the days when Bruce Jenner was still a relevant due to his accomplishments, not just for having a douchebag son and a needy stage mom for a wife. I'm going to go scrub my eyes now.
** I am only guessing here, I'm still not sure why Kim's famous other than her 'leaked' tape (see what I did there?).
Into this:
ROME - A romantic wedding in the Tuscan countryside ended with injuries after an attempt to launch the bride's bouquet from a plane brought down the tiny aircraft.
Italian police say two people were hurt in the crash of the ultralight plane after the bridal bouquet they launched got caught in the aircraft's rear rotor.
The flowers blocked the engine, bringing the plane down by a youth hostel.
Police in the nearby town of Piombino said Tuesday the pilot was lightly injured in Saturday's crash, while the passenger who threw the bouquet had several broken bones.
The bride and groom were not aboard the plane.
So a Washington teacher got in trouble this week:
YAKIMA, Wash. - A Washington kindergarten teacher who sent a 5-year-old student home with a bag of feces tucked in his backpack has been formally reprimanded.
A West Valley School District official warned teacher Sue Graham in a letter that similar behavior in the future will result in disciplinary action, including termination.
The boy's father had said his son arrived home in April with the plastic bag of feces and a note that read "This little turd was found on the floor in my room."
The boy was moved out of Graham's classroom after the incident.
The May letter was released Thursday in response to a public disclosure request from KIMA-TV. The district had previously said "appropriate action" was taken against the longtime teacher.
So what exactly is the problem? The kid needs to learn to shit in a toilet. People are so uptight these days...they need to remember, poop is funny!
1. A Tea-bag Party!!! Yeah, I know that it sounds like a bad Ben Affleck/Kevin Smith story, but people around the country are banding together on Saturday to protest taxes and the direction of America by tea-bagging each other. I call that my normal Saturday night, and quite frankly I'm guessing it will be about as successful.
It is always interesting to see how our culture reacts to the deaths of our celebrities. This week has been fascinating to me with the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. Each one of these people were clearly past their prime productive years as entertainers, each one well past any real success, but the reaction to each passing has been different.
I am most dismayed by the universal love that Michael Jackson is receiving. I understand that he was such a cultural icon in his youth. I lived through it. I watched the videos, I listened to the music, and I was also paying attention as his life slowly devolved into a freak-show of his own devising. From the chimps, to the amusement park he built for himself, to the ghastly plastic surgery nightmare that became his face, he became his own worst enemy. This doesn’t even address the child molestation situations. I have heard people try to downplay the allegations as opportunist parents and a parasitic media, and I have to agree that these people have their own part to play in this saga, but no one invented the ‘Jesus Juice,’ or the adult alarms in his bedroom. Yes, Michael was a victim of abuse from his father, and his situation should be a warning to all parents who push their children into show business (the Lohans, Spears, Caulkins, etc could have taken heed), but this doesn’t absolve him of his responsibility to those kids who were around him.
So rather than deify a man so deeply flawed, I’ll celebrate the other two, who were both undeniably less influential (and neither was perfect by any means), but infinitely more respectable. Farrah and Ed, I tip my cap to you, and move on with my day. Maybe I’ll read a book.
