Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Death stalks you at every turn!

So in the grand tradition of the Van Blogger/Haven we are continuing our annual morbid countdown to see which of these celebrities makes it through the year and which ones take the long dirt nap. As always, the winner gets a 12 pack of Coke products...which isn't product placement like the Hecht's neighbors getting a Jetta on The Middle... Stupid corporate America...

We'll start with the defending champion Kristin's picks:

1. Tom Sizemore
2. Lindsey Lohan
3. Andy Griffith
4. Aretha Franklin
5. Betty White
6. Zsa Zsa Gabor
7. Kirk Douglas
8. Dick Van Dyke
9. Prince Phillip (the Queen's hubby)
10. Charlotte Rae

Brandt checks in with the following:

1. GHW Bush
2. Ruth Bader-Ginsburg
3. Fidel Castro
4. Arpaio - by assassination (+ 10 points for calling it)
5. Coach Eddie Robinson
6. Stan "The Man" Musial
7. Fats Domino (fat and nearly dead)
8. Nelson Mandela
9. Stephen Hawking (.5 dead already)
10. Rev. Billy Graham (a rude awakening awaits)

Renee selected the following:

1. Britney Spears
2. Paula Abdul
3. Ringo Starr
4. Paul McCartney (Car Crash)
5. Queen of England
6. Yoko Ono
7. Diana Ross
8. Florence Henderson
9. Mel Brooks
10. Demi Lovato.

My picks are broken into two divisions again:

Old Bastard Division:
1. Kirk Douglas – Stroke
2. Mary Tyler Moore – Diabetes complications
3. Nancy Reagan – Overdose!
4. Dion Warwick – Suicide
5. Pat Robertson – Assassination

Young Freak Division:
6. Josh Hamilton – Car Accident/DUI
7. Terell Owens – Suicide
8. Christina Aguilera – Choking on her own vomit
9. Arte Lange – Heart Attack
10. Ke$ha – Overdose

And we have a new participant this year as Heather decided to school us all:

1. Eddie Van Halen – Alcohol/drugs
2. Rumor Willis – OD
3. Demi Moore – OD
4. Mary Tyler Moore – Stroke
5. Muhammad Ali – complications from Parkinson’s
6. Steven Tyler – Heart Attack
7. Dick Clark – Stroke
8. John Madden – Heart Attack
9. Tara Reid – OD
10. Bobby Brown – Grief over lost love

So far that's it... There is still time for Eric to join the fun.... Or anyone else who wants in.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

So Who the Hell

works for On my old blog I wrote a rant about Maxim's choice of Katy Perry as the sexiest woman alive a couple of years back. After looking at this new list that put out (which received a surprising amount of publicity by the way, what the hell is that about?) I feel like I need to apologize to Maxim.

Well, now that I think about it, no I'm not apologizing to those idiots, have you actually read that dreck?

Anyway, this new list is horrific. Of course I'm good with Sofia Vergara, but most of the others in the top 10? Rihanna? Nicki Minaj? Miranda Kerr? Rooney Mara? Candice Swanepoel? Ugh... All either solidly meh or flat out terrifying. Of course might prompt me to come up with my own again.... Consider yourself warned.

Stupid books

So I totally ditched Catch-22 for now. I hate it. I'll give it another read later, but I was bogging down with the stupid book, life's too short, so I'm reading Tender is the Night by Fitzgerald. So far it isn't too bad, but who knows.

What I really want is a good new book, but I am at a loss. I think that I'm just going to have to go to Barnes and Noble and spend some time and money finding a new book or a new author to read. Gee, that sounds horrible.

A Different Kind of Van Halen

Van Halen released a new album today. I've been trying to work my way through this information, to process it and quite frankly I'm not sure how I feel about the whole endeavor.

I'd like to say that I'm past the idea that Van Halen matters to me in any way, but I'm obviously not. I'd like to say that the thought of a Van Halen that doesn't include Michael Anthony doesn't bother me, but it does. I considered a boycott, but I'm afraid that I just couldn't do it. They have pissed me off, but I'm like a battered spouse at this point.

Trust me, I'm not crazy enough to think that any of this crap matters in the grand scheme of things (or even in the little scheme of things), but Van Halen sold records on a couple of key ideas and idea number one was that nobody had more fun than they did. A Van Halen show was a party and everyone was invited. Well, I guess that over the past decade of inactivity, bitterness, and hatred directed towards ex-band members and fans taught us that this concept was nothing more than marketing. Quite frankly after seeing the mess that EVH was in 2004, I'm surprised that he's still breathing.

Now they are selling themselves as something, I'm not quite sure what. It is funny that they have done no press for this, I guess that they are afraid that someone might ask a question about their inactivity or stupidity. Whatever...

I guess all that matters is the music on the new disc and fortunately for them, most of it is pretty good. Most of these songs are old, written in the mid-70's or early 80's, so we are not dealing with the most vital songwriters anymore, but I guess that the fact that Ed is still alive and playing pretty well is something to celebrate. Just forgive me if I'm not leading the parade on this one.