Monday, May 31, 2010

Homer's Hot 10 - #1 Sofia Vergara

I posted up Sofia before, in relation to her new television show, Modern Family. She was originally a model whose nickname was Sofia Viagra, which I cannot really dispute. There was a scene in one of the later episodes of Modern Family that really sums up Ms. Vergara, it was when Sofia's character was getting out of the water and Phil asks his wife if she is moving in slow motion or if his brain is just doing that to him... I could relate.

So there you go, is the list perfect? Of course not, but isn't that what makes the world go 'round?

Happy Memorial Day

My brother-in-law and I just spent 10 weeks watching The Pacific on HBO. It was horrifying.... The horrors that the show inflicted on its viewers can only suggest how brutal it must have been for those men enduring it. I can only tip my cap and thank those who have served in the armed forces and have allowed me to sit here on my couch watching television on a beautiful Monday afternoon.

Saturday, May 29, 2010


So I haven't read much lately, which is unusual for me. I have read a few books recently that I wanted to comment about though, so here goes:

1. The Chicago Way - was a book written by Michael Harvey, who was the creator and executive producer of A&E's Cold Case Files. After eight or nine years of non-stop production of that show he decided to change gears. He had started a novel years before and decided to try to finish it. And finish it he did. It is a classic PI/noir novel, with dirty cops, dirty politicians, and a protagonist who is both flawed and noble. Despite the genre trappings, The Chicago Way turned out to be one of the best first novels that I have ever read. The story is tight, with no filler anywhere. The characters are archetypes, but they aren't one-dimensional, they talk and behave like real people. It was a great read.

2/3. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo/The Girl Who Played with Fire - were the first of a planned 10 books by Swedish writer Stieg Larsson. The books were to tell the story of a journalist named Mikael Blomkvist and a social misfit/computer hacker (what a stretch, although this one is female) Lisbeth Salander. Larsson died after he had completed the third book, leaving notes and summaries for what would come. The first book was fairly interesting. The characters were a bit cardboard, but the story elements were actually pretty interesting. After reading the first book, I was intrigued enough to dial up the second. What a piece of crap. There were actually three pages of text detailing what pieces of furniture from IKEA that Lisbeth purchased to furnish her flat. I don't usually quit reading a book prior to finishing it, but in this case I made an exception. Avoid these books if at all possible.

I do have a new book to read, it is called The Tourist, I have high hopes for it, I'll write more about it later.

What's playing on iTunes...

I love people with a sense of humor about themselves and what they do. Here is Paul Gilbert, probably the scariest guitarist alive, who went through a pop music phase for a while. His albums were fun and filled with quirky songs and little gems. This song, which is not a video btw, is a good example of how Paul's sense of humor and music come together. The song comes from the subtly titled album Burning Organ. I just wanted to share.

Homer's Hot 10 - #2 Jennifer Connelly

I was digging through the dvd collection the other day and ran across Dark City, a strange sci-fi movie that came out a year or two before The Matrix, but dealt with some of the questions of the nature of reality. It is a very cool movie, very odd, but good. Anyway, Jennifer Connelly played Rufus Sewell's wife, and she looks great. The nice thing about Connelly is that on top of being a pretty decent actress and a beautiful woman, she also seems to have her shit together. Yeah, between her and Salma, they are going to keep those eyebrow sculpters in business, but no one is perfect...

Homer's Hot 10 - #3 Alessandra Ambrosio

Yes, I know, another lingerie model... I am predictable if nothing else. She is also an important reason why Casino Royale with Daniel Craig was so successful, so I'm supporting the Bond franchise as well.

Homer's Hot 10 - #4 Salma Hayek

Desperado was on the other night.... It reminded me why I love Salma, it also reminded me that Melanie Griffin must either have a magic vagina or some sort of dark powers that we should be grateful she uses only to snag Antonio Banderas. Salma's guest spot on 30 Rock last year only reinforced her awesomeness.

Homer's Hot 10 - #5 Heidi Klum

I love Heidi. She's hot and she is no bullshit. Based on her catch-phrase delivery "You're out," I can only imagine that her and Seal have efficient German sex... Either way, she looks as good today as she ever has.

Homer's Hot 10 - #6 Diora Baird

I know, you're asking, "Who?" I agree. I was flipping channels one night and there was a movie on Syfy (or whatever the hell they call that channel now) and a bad movie was on, but there was this really pretty actress in it. She's no Meryl Streep, but guess what Meryl doesn't look like Diora either... and she can line up a putt like no one's business.

Poor Dead Dennis Hopper...

Got no love in the pool. Well, actually I'm sure that he was probably invited to a Playboy party at some point in his career, so I can't reasonably say that. Anyway, no points for anyone.... I'd say something about Hopper, but that was one strange dude. I know it was lingering, so I hope he is at peace. Just like the man to mess with the Gary Coleman's last bit of fame...

Homer's Hot 10 - #7 Kim Kardashian

I know, I know... she's a vapid fame-whore. I get it, but you know, it isn't like I have to sit down and talk to her. Curiously, her candid photographs always look better than when she's done up for a photo shoot. Why is that?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Homer's Hot 10 - #8 Marisa Miller

I am keeping it on course, but I decided to put Marisa here at #8 in honor of the Vanilla Gorilla and his 58 point lead in the pool. My wife asked me the other day why Victoria's Secret had let Marisa go.... It was a sad few minutes until a VS ad came on my television and she was there. All was right in the world again...

And The Vanilla Gorilla Leaps Into The Lead....

So it is official.... VG (the original, not the racist asshole... wait) now has 58 points in the 2010 Dead Pool. A strong opening salvo, but not insurmountable. Anyway, congrats on the points VG and RIP Arnold.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Homer's Hot 10 - #9 Kate Beckinsale

This was another obvious pick.... my feelings on Kate are well known, keeping my commentary here to a minimum.

Proof that we are going to hell...

The Disney princesses are more than marketing, they represent the good, innocent, and pure things in the world. Well, actually they don't, but they are there for all of those little girls, setting unrealistic expectations and prepping them for their eating disorders and body issues. So what happens when you add comic book dorks to a Disney princess? I guess you get this:

It is more than a little disturbing, but I guess there's a market out there for this which is why we live in the world we do.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Homer's Hot 10 - #10 Megan Fox

I haven't forgotten my promise to create a better list than Maxim. I could put in some sexy chihuahuas in spots 2-9 as long as Megan is in the top 10 somewhere. I am just going to post them as I can, by all means argue with me about who I pick. Oh yeah, I'm totally going to ignore the few rules that I wrote down earlier. I find these ladies hot/sexy/just plain attractive. I don't really care what order they're in or how they became famous. Right now I'm loving Megan because unlike a lot of Hollywood types, she has the stones to walk away from a movie franchise for no other reason than she's not going to work with an asshole like Bay. Yeah, her tats are ridiculous, but whatever...