A Dirty Job

Themo was watching television today, big shock I know, when a very interesting commercial came on. This advertisement was for a new reality show on the History Channel following the lives of Ice Road Truckers, it looks fascinating, driving on roads of ice, risking their lives to deliver goods and supplies to diamond mines in remote areas of the world. This is just the latest show on television highlighting obscure occupations, shows like Dirty Jobs and Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel. These shows are definitely a step up from standard reality fare, but they aren’t perfect.

The primary problem I see with these shows is that we have become so soft as a society that we find people who actually work for a living to be something of a novelty. When you tune into Dirty Jobs, you can see people cleaning up after the rest of us slobs, working on farms, or doing shit in a factory that the rest of us wouldn’t deign lower ourselves to do. I have much respect for people who do the crap work in today’s world. Someone needs to do it, but I have to admit I feel a little guilty when I watch these shows and my first response is “Hell no I wouldn’t do that,” but then again that I why I got a degree in the first place. Maybe these shows will have a positive impact on us, erasing the stigma we attach to these kinds of jobs, because really these people are contributing so much more to our lives than these superficial celebrities we spend so much time talking about. Maybe instead of imprisoning Paris Hilton, we could just redistribute her money to people who have to clean up after her stupid ass. Just a thought.

P.S. The picture of Carmen? Hey, she's working hard here, give her a break.

Go Suns!

It is playoff time and the Suns and Spurs are about to go to war. It should be good and I need to show the Suns some love, so here it is.

$5 - Max

So many things have happened over the past couple of years in Ms. Spears' life, but one thing is for sure, if she were wearing this little outfit down the Sunset Strip at 3:00am she wouldn't get more than $5 a throw in the bed of a rusted out El Camino. What exactly is she famous for again?

Totally gratuitous

I know that this is totally gratuitous, but I just want to celebrate the glory of Diet Coke. None of that nasty Coke Light they serve in Europe, but the good stuff. I searched for a long time online to find a clean picture of Diet Coke, but they all have text and stuff. Here are the two I found:





I don't know about you all, but damn, I'm thirsty. Gotta go to Circle K.

A Week Away - Books 12,13, and 14

So while spending the week abroad I was unable to find time to update the blog, but I was able to get my books in for the week. I read a volume of Transgressions, a collection of novellas; More Twisted, a collection of short stories; and Escape Clause, another Bill Tasker book from James Born. All of these were pretty good, but I have no time to get into them, so HA!

Book #10-11 Moore of the same

Okay, I am just going to own up to it. I am going to finish the Chris Moore catalog by the end of spring break. Like I stated earlier, I go in phases when I read so it should be no surprise that I read a couple of more of Chris' books. These were both excellent books featuring characters who appear in Moore's other books. It was really kind of cool to see these characters in different settings. The books aren't sequels, but share settings. It is really a difficult thing to describe. Good books, next up is Bloodsucking Fiends.

How much cocaine

does it take to make you smile like this? Really, I want to know, because as I get older and more delusional, I might want to give it a shot. Hopefully it will kill me before I get there.



Sad.

Past perfect

No, not a grammatical concept, although we could go there if you choose, this little Youtube nugget is the intro to one of the coolest television shows of the 80's. I wanted a van like that sooo bad. Someday, I just might have to get one.



I'm sure I'll have to fight themo about it, but by then I'd be the coolest grandpa ever!

Book #9 - The Stupidest Angel

To close the week is another Christopher Moore book. I know, I said I was going to take a break, but these books are pretty fun to read, so here is Moore's zombie Christmas tale. It is pretty short, but funny and engaging. I enjoyed it immensely, I am in the middle of a huge John Irving book that just isn't cutting it. I'll get through it, but it is work.

De-Evolution of Edward Van Halen

This is a test of my Youtube abilities as well as a video documentary of what happens when years of hard living catch up to you. In this first clip, EVH is blowing through his live solo circa 1988. It is a good, but hardly great performance showing what an average Van Halen solo spot looked like during the Hagar years.



This second video is of lesser quality, but is from the ill-fated 2004 tour, and sadly is what happened on an average night on that tour.



If you can make through the entire last clip, then you have my sympathy and respect. Those old "Your brain on drugs" commercials should make a comeback, and Eddie Van Halen should be the poster child.

Book #8 - A Dirty Job

No, this isn't a book based on the wonderful Discovery Network show, this is another book by Christopher Moore. This is the book that let me onto the fact that You Suck! is a sequel due to the fact that several of the characters are in both books. This book is better than You Suck!, and having read three of Moore's books now his style is less grating to me than it was initially.

The plot of A Dirty Job is pretty simple: Charlie Archer is a shop-owner who one day discovers that he is a Death. Not the Death, but one of several Deaths whose job it is to free souls and pass them on to people who are destined to have them. Charlie is suitably unsuited for the job, being a Beta Male (which means exactly what you think it would mean), and this combines with Moore's comedic style to lend a comic air to what could be a very dark work.

After reading several of Moore's books it is plain that Moore has issues with religion - not hostile, but very questioning. He infuses his Death with mensch-like insecurities and then forces him to deal with death, grieving, and the afterlife. Moore seems to embrace a mish-mash of theologies here (and in the other books), leading towards some sort of ecumenism. Ultimately, the story is fun and occasionally makes the reader think about their own preconceptions, which is Moore's point.

Update for You Suck!

I was a the library yesterday and found out that You Suck!, a book that I read by Christopher Moore, is a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. This makes a whole lot of sense and explains many of the problems I had with the book. I wish it would have been made clear somewhere before I read it. Oh well.

Sex Sells...

just ask the makers of the Bowflex. Where do they find the people for their commercials? These genetic freaks do not exist in nature, I'm convinced they were conceived and exist only in the Bowflex laboratories. Anyway, the idea of sex appeal selling product is not new, but what about beliefs or ethical systems?

The picture above is the latest in PETA's "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign, which seems to be everywhere on the internet recently. The campaign was launched by a fading Pamela Anderson, but I guess that PETA thought that it was hypocritical to keep pimping that piece of leather anymore (or people were consistently horrified by what a freak she is) and have moved on to model Joanna Krupa.

Now, as much as I can get behind swimsuit model nudity this does beg the question of just how effective is this program? I'll be honest, other than making a normal male of the species want to fill Ms. Krupa's closet full of fur and leather, I cannot really fathom what this campaign wants people to know. Yes, the world isn't fair to animals in many ways, most importantly in the fact that many taste damn good with mashed potatoes. How they get to my table, as long as it is sanitary, is not really my concern.

PETA, however, takes things to ridiculous extremes. One of the primary arguments that PETA makes is the moral equivalence of humans and dogs and other animals. Sorry, I guess I am a specist, or whatever they want to label me, but I cannot accept that arguement. I am better than any cat could ever want to be.

I'm not advocating cruelty towards animals, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite about this either, as I am going to eat and wear animals when the mood strikes or feels appropriate. So to PETA, I guess that I thank you for an attractive ad, but ultimately you can take your philosophical position and shove it in some fur-dog's butt.

Book #7 - Kill Me

This book was fantastic. I really enjoyed the basic premise of the book, which was the idea that some people don't want to live a compromised life. The main character of the book is a wealthy business man who decides that he would rather die immediately than to linger on in any prolonged way. He is put in contact with a company offers that service.

This company, or Death Angels as the narrator describes them, establishes a baseline of what the client considers "living," and once circumstances arise where that threshold has been passed, they kill the client. The conflict of the book arises from the fact that although the narrator has enrolled in this program, and he is suffering an potentially fatal condition, he decides he doesn't want the services.

This was a really enjoyable read, and I look forward to reading more of White's work in the future.

Book #6 - The Viking Funeral

The Viking Funeral is exactly what you would expect from the man responsible for so many mediocre action/adventure television shows. Stephen J. Cannell is a talented creator, the scenarios that fill his books are very interesting, but as a writer, he is not very good. His dialogue is stilted and quite frankly his characters make stupid decisions on a regular basis. It is one thing for a flawed character to make a poor decision, but often Cannell's characters have to make them for plot considerations. It is very distracting.

The fascinating thing about Cannell's books is that although the reader recognizes the flaws in the work, the books are hard to put down. The good parts are that good, but the bad parts are equally bad. Oh well, it was an easy read and the character of Shane Scully is pretty interesting. Book number seven seems to be pretty good.

Book #5 - A Garden of Vipers

A Garden of Vipers is Jack Kerley's third book. Each of Kerley's books are set in Mobile, Alabama and feature Detectives Carson Ryder and Harry Nautilus. These homicide detectives also comprise the department's "special" team of detectives qualified to deal with psychologically deranged offenders. Kerley's books are good, he does get a little caught up in his own idea of clever wordplay, primarily creating some overdone description, but overall the books are pretty good.

A Garden of Vipers finds Carson and Harry on the trail of a potentially disturbed killer, and while Kerley includes some fairly obvious red herrings, the final set of twists is pretty good here. Kerley seems to be developing as a writer, and A Garden of Vipers was a pretty good book.

Book #4 - You Suck! A Love Story

This little ditty is another book by Christopher Moore and instead of whales with creatures driving them, this book is about a couple of novice vampires and a sixteen year old goth girl whom they choose to be their minion. Like the book Fluke, You Suck! is humorous, but at times lets cleverness get in the way of the plot. I'm sure that in some literary way, Moore is making some grand point, but in reading these two books, it feels almost like the reader is being talked down to, which as a reader I don't like too much.

Two books in a row by the same author isn't too unusual for me, but I think I'll pass on Christopher Moore for a little while now. Back to the killing and death in the next book.

Book #3 - Fluke

The third book of the week was the strangest. It was a story of marine biology, but it wasn't really about marine biology at all. I'm not sure what to make of it, other than a fairly satiric look at science and religion. Funny, and kinda witty. I'm not sure that I can keep up this pace though, it was touch and go getting three books in this week.

Wasteful, they probably just light money on fire

for fun. Or at least to get rid of it. Anyway, America is littered with government programs and departments that are slowly outliving their usefulness and the Mint is getting there. I know that we need someone to make our money, but lately they just seem to be channelling the fools over at the Franklin Mint, trying to make product. The State Quarter program was kinda cool when it started, but you know, about seven years have passed and have you seen some of the crap on the other side of your quarters? Most of it looks like bad junior high art projects gone awry. What's next? Official painted coins? Plates? Maybe the dime can have pictures of state birds on the back. Ridiculous right? Well, maybe not.

Anyway, rather than learn from the waning popularity of the quarter program, the mint has again attempted to revive the dollar coin. People do not want the dollar coin. It's that simple, and it has been proved time and time again. Susan B. Anthony, the Eisenhower, and Sacajawea were all failures. Expensive ones at that. But here we are with an new one. This one has pictures of presidents on it. Oh, the fun. It is about as innovative as the religious trading cards Ned was selling at the flea market on that Simpsons episode. I can just hear the collecters now, "Wow, did you get the new Grover Cleveland? I don't think he looks as good as the John Quincy Adams."

Maybe the mint will understand when we go paperless, and they are out looking for jobs that we don't need collectibles from them. We just need the money.

It Takes a Thief

If you have spent any amount of time on the internet the past couple of days, then surely you know about the incident that went down between Joe Rogan and Carlos Mencia. For the past couple of years Rogan has been very vocal about Mencia being a joke thief. It all kind of became public when George Lopez went backstage and assaulted Mencia for stealing "13 minutes" or so on Mencia's HBO One Night Stand. This was depressing to me because at one time I liked Mencia's stand up act. He was funny the first time I saw him live and I enjoyed his cd Take a Joke America. Mencia has been on a downward spiral as far as material goes for several years, and maybe this is what led to his thievery, or maybe he's just not stealing enough lately because Mind of Mencia has never really been any good. Either way I find it incredibly difficult to in any way support someone who has built a career on the efforts of others, so screw Carlos.

Hopefully the fallout from this incident will be more significant than Rogan being banned from The Comedy Store, and Mencia can perhaps realize that his success should be predicated on his own talents and abilities, rather than "borrowing" the work of others. Until that happens, Comedy Central should really take a hard look at what they are putting on television. We may accept illegal aliens Ned, but we don't like thieving liars.