Friday, August 07, 2009

Return of the 5

I haven’t done this in a while, so this should be fun….



  1. Michael Douglas’s son is a meth dealer. Look, I can kinda understand people who live in trailers, wanting to escape the pain and drudgery of their pathetic existence by turning to meth and other drugs. I can only imagine the pain of living in a wildly successful acting family, living in the lap of luxury, and having a step-mother so hot she actually starts small fires. It must have been intolerable. Hopefully the justice system can help him deal with his demons and find his own path in life. As the Thursday regular in the shower glory hole.
  2. I was shocked to learn today that the British swear more than we do, and are more comfortable with it… those cunts (which apparently means something completely different in England).
  3. The Miss Universe pageant is this weekend. All I can say is that there are apparently forty or fifty countries filled with pathetic old people and their inbred cousins.
  4. Ass-ton Kutcher escaped a fiery death. Too bad. I guess another sacrifice to the gods is in order. Either that, or I wait for Keanu Reeves' imminent demise.
  5. Shakira came out this week talking about how women have animalistic urges, sexually. How she is finding her sexuality liberating and pleasurable. She used to dream about getting married and now she is more interested in procreation. I guess that explains her long-rumored sex tape of her with two guys. Good for her… I guess.
  6. I was flipping channels and came across The Whole Nine Yards. Natasha Henstridge was bringing it in that movie… it almost makes up for She Spies. Wait, that was the show with her and two other sexy convicts going undercover (usually in their underwear) to keep America safe? Forget that She Spies rules. . . it almost makes up for the fact she had to do a love scene with Jean-Claude Van Dam.
  7. There was a big story today about Lady GaGa’s penis. Good for her. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it isn’t is big as Chyna’s. DO NOT GOOGLE JOANIE LAURER’S PENIS….THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CANNOT UNSEE!!!!!!!
  8. And finally, Billy Mays had a Michael Jackson-esque cocktail of drugs in his system when he died. I feel bad that I know about it, and quite frankly, I don’t care. Maybe that is the secret ingredient in Oxy-clean. I wonder if they will have to change the name. . . Oxycontin-Clean?

10 comments:

Renee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anamika said...

First off, you need to hone your counting skills :-)... but am not complaining, 8 is better than 5
2. What else does and could cunt mean?
6.Natasha Henstridge: is this the Bruce Willis/Perry movie? who is she?
7.Lady Gaga:does he have a penis or does it have a penis also? What's the problem?

Renee said...

It's a term of endearment in some parts of England. Just depends on how you say it, and who you say it to.

diane said...

LOL @ "Thursday regular in the shower glory hole." You are the best.
The problem with her having a penis?? Umm - chicks with dicks is is gross.

Anamika said...

No, I was just trying to define the problem statement (i.e. gender - he vs it)... my point being that, if it has a dick, it can't be a chick.

Homer said...

I'm thinking we just call Lady Gaga an 'it.' Or just ignore it until it goes away (about another six months or so).

Sheri_Beri said...

First off... Nice picture of Catherine.

#4, Why do you hate Aston so much? I heard that on a flight back from N.O. with his co-stars and a few other friends a plane he was in lost pressure, and some of the guys had passed out etc... He resuscitated more than one of them, and everyone was okay. I haven't heard too much negativity about him. Is it just that he plays a dumb ass in a lot of his movies or what is it?? lol

#5, Did you see her video for her new song, "She Wolf"? It's kind of funny to me that it looks like they spent about $150 making that video, yet she's huge in the Latin Music scene. Wow...

#8, I would've preferred not to know he was doing coke and was a contributing factor in his death. When will people learn though??

Homer said...

To be fair, the substance listed was termed a 'by product' of cocaine, I'm not smart enough to know if it could have been in one of the other drugs he was taking...

Homer said...

Oh, and that picture of Catherine is amazing...

Anamika said...

Androgynous Gaga:
>set ignore on

Catherine Zeta and Micheal Douglas apparently share their birthday and were born 25 years apart! Having that hot of a step-mother, probably fairly close to his age may be enough to mess Douglas Jr. up...