Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wanted - Dead or Alive!

1.  Well Farrah's not dead yet, but can we give the lady a little dignity please?  Why do they keep referring to her illness as 'anal' cancer?  Is the term rectal too hard, or is that a different disease?  Either way, the branding of her illness is unfortunate and probably painfully embarrassing.  

2. Megan Fox wants to be taken seriously.  Why is that exactly?  Look princess, your job is to look pretty, okay?  You're not a good actress, your interviews consist primarily of your proclaimations of bi-sexuality and the time you dated a Russian stripper and your off-camera persona courts the paparazzi so blatantly that you are only one or two above Lindsay Lohan.  I get it, your sexuality is sooooooo impressive.  Except for the whole 90210 thing, which is quite frankly embarrassing.  So sit there, let Esquire take strangely unsexy videos of you and just wait for the bell letting you know that your 15 minutes are up.

3.  Lost.  What the hell was I thinking for five years????  When the show premiered, all I could think is that it was a mish-mash of Gilligan's Island and Castaway with some post-21st century angst thrown in.  Thankfully my sister-in-law showed me the error of my ways.  What a great show.  Now, how can we get to February 2010, like right now?

4.  Heather Mills is opening a vegan restaurant.  Wow, how original.  Is she going to serve Linda McCartney entrees?  Or just die and leave poor Paul an even bigger emotional cripple?  Oh, right he ditched her already.  I thought I was in a time loop...too much Lost.

5.  Holly Madison is joining a Vegas burlesque show.  I wonder if she is going to walk in and start channeling Darth Vader,  "The circle is now complete."  Oh well, I guess once you've slept with an octogenarian and Criss Angel, going back to the pole is a step up the career ladder.


Anonymous said...

Glad to see "Death of Marat" off the top.

1. Unfortunately, I think they are 2 distinct things and off by a few cms tops.
2. Is it boob week again?
3. Lost - really???
5. What about Darth Vader

Kristin said...

1. At this point, isn't the cancer all over her body, not just her anal? Just call it cancer already, media!
2. You said it all...a step above LiLo, and she soooo wants to be Angelina Jolie. Oh, and P.S. - Transformers sucked in my book, I couldn't even finish watching it. What else has she been in?
3. You're welcome.
4. Linda McCartney entrees...good one.
5. The most exposure I've had to this girl is when she was on Dancing With the "Stars" this season. She was hella awkward and couldn't find the beat AT ALL. Ditzy and no entertainment value? Goodbye, lady!

diane said...

Have you watched the Star Trek movie yet? I heard that it is eerily reminiscent of what is going on with Lost right now. I have NO idea what that means since I don't watch Lost, and I am assuming Chris Pine isn't upping the sexy quotient on the small screen so it doesn't matter to me.