Big things are afoot in Homerland, so it’s a couple of days late, but instead of five stories, you get as many as I can handle (which could only be two):
1. Bye Yanks! – In rich Steinbrenner tradition, Hank Steinbrenner went off yesterday, claiming that he is going to dictate the pitching rotation and other personnel moves now. He even is telling the press that Mike Mussina needs to learn to pitch like Jamie Moyer. Wow, I wish it were so easy, I’d like to be born into a millionaire’s family but that didn’t work out so well for me. Fuck off Hank, wait, I’m not a Yankee fan, I take it back: Love ya Hank!! Here’s to another summer of watching the Devil Rays kick the crap out of the Yankees, with the Yankees’ money.
2. Rock of Love II – The inevitable reunion of television’s classiest reality show broke out in a nasty case of Springer-itis. Nasty stuff. Anyway, it was a huge waste of time, unless you wanted to know that Bert and Ambre got it on in the tour bus after a Poison concert. I’d like to know if he was able to get rid of his Rock of Chlamydia first.
3. Suns Win! – Well, not yet they don’t. It did take a heroic effort on the Spurs part to win in double overtime, so here’s to hoping for a better result in the playoffs this year.
4. Interweb Photos – You can never go wrong with some bitchin’ internet geek humor. And in true dweeb fashion, in includes Star Wars. All we need is the Cingular Wizard. “WIZARD!!”
5. Fired Bloggers – Never mind
6. AC/DC/Judas Priest – News is out that these bands are releasing new product. The Judas Priest album will be a concept album based on the life of Nostradamus. There is no confirmation to the rumor that Halford is going to be in drag when they play this live. AC/DC is putting the finishing touches on their 15th version of their album. Should rock. Well, at least it is going to be something that moves their rocking chairs to when they move into their nursing home for the very rich and pampered in 10 years. I still cling to the belief that musicians and artists are good for 10 years and 6 albums before their inevitable decline. This is only staved off by common sense and sobriety.
7. The blessed sounds of silence – That followed news of Rumer Willis’ singing debut. The poor kid is cursed; Bruce’s looks and Demi’s talent. I’d feel bad for her if she didn’t act like a spoiled jackass in public. Anyway, we need to put the kibosh on her fledgling ‘music’ career; I don’t need to hear an album called Bruno’s Daughter.
8. Judd Backlash – I’m tired of hearing about Judd Apatow. Really, I am. I’m tired of the paeans of gushing critics; the shrill cries of misogyny; the invective about a man over-exposed, over-stretched, and over-rated; and the attempts at attaching some great social significance to his work. Either the movies are going to work, suck, or be 90 minutes of meh, outside of that let it go. I disagree with the notion of liking a movie based on who is in it or who made it. Much like music or any other artistic endeavor, it should be assessed on the work’s merit.
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