Saturday, April 05, 2008

The Big 5

Nope, it's not just a sporting goods store anymore!  Better late than never, here's Homer's 5 stories of the week:

1.  Hot for Words - I love the English language, so by extension I love the Hot for Words website.  The lady who runs it used to be a high school teacher in Russia; someone explain why I live in the country that won the Cold War and we don't have teachers who look like that?  Fucking commies...

2.  Classic Rock - The CD player in my car is broken, so I have to listen to the radio now, which sucks.  Anyway, the wife and I were listening to some classic rock station (100.7, KSL -swish swish - X) and Heart's 'Magic Man' was on; wow what a strange tune.  I'm firmly convinced that most 60's and 70's music was specifically designed to get high to.  Maybe it makes the 8 minute keyboard/guitar duel endurable.  Not for the Moody Blues however, they just need to shut the hell up.

3.  Moses is dead - However you want to remember Charlton Heston is up to you, it's personal I know, but the man was an American icon.  Regardless of the fact that he was an abhorrent actor.  My personal favorite was The Naked Jungle, based on a short story called 'Leiningen Versus the Ants.'  That's right, a movie based on a guy having to stave off ant infestation to save his South American plantation.  Where else can you hear dialogue like "Leiningen's woman is brave"?

4.  Nick Lachey - Why exactly do I still hear about him?  What, he was pictured drinking with 19-20 year old women and Matt Leinart?  Nick's 34?  Wow, I thought Madonna was desperate to get her name in the papers, but apparently Nick need it just as bad.  Maybe Jessica Simpson needs to get her junk checked out, it's in the process of ruining every man who's encountered it (really? John Mayer and Perez Hilton???? WTF?).  Must be the syphilis.

5.  The New Kids on the Block - Seriously?  Are they going to change their names to something clever about being the old, pathetic guys down the on the corner now?  I really just cannot fathom the person that's excited about this.  What they need to do is have a big return concert and in the middle of the show, just bomb the hell out of the arena.  For the greater good and all.  What's next?  Or do I really not want to know the answer to that?

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