No Fancy Pictures!

Not every post needs bitchin' pictures of scantily dressed women. Here's proof. A Halloween 4, with absolutely no Halloween content.

1. Reality Television – I’m not sure what the deal is with ‘reality’ television. Common sense tells us that these shows are nearly as scripted as any other storytelling medium and they are certainly edited to the point of manipulation as the producers try to wring out the last drops of tension and crazy. Which is what drives me nuts about this crap. I am not saying I don’t watch some of these shows, Rock of Love, Top Chef, and Making the Team are the three that I’ve watched the most, but the problem I have with these shows is that they are so obviously not real. Each scenario is plotted and manipulated so each of these unbalanced fame-whores are ready to degrade themselves and each other in any way the show chooses. And we eat it up, usually rooting for the craziest person in the room.

Now there are even more shows coming as network executives see the unquenched thirst for this tripe, and the bottom line is that these shows are cheap to produce. We have shows where people compete for film roles, to be a make-up artist to the stars, and just about everything else there is to do. You know we used to have competitions for this kind of stuff before reality television, it was called life and when you applied for a job they picked the best candidate and if they didn’t work out, you got fired and they replaced you. What a colossal waste of time, money, and airspace. I long for a day when the drones that populate this world wake up and demand more for their precious time. Let’s face it, nearly all television is mindless escapism, shouldn’t we demand more from it?

2. Election Day – November 4 is drawing nearer, meaning either Obama or McCain is drawing closer to irrelevance. This seems like it is the longest election season ever. I cannot imagine how long and horrible it must have been before the days of mass communication. Ugh, why would anyone want to do that job? Must be the interns, right Billy?

3. The Best – Why do we feel the need to quantify really good things? I was watching my new favorite show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia the other day and I was starting to debate in my head where I would rank this show among my all time favorites. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going to turn into the annoying John Cusack character in High Fidelity, making inane and annoying lists about random meaningless crap? I hope not, but in the spirit of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, Arrested Development is the best. television. show. ever.

4. Wal-Mart + Irving Azoff = The Devil – Possibly the most annoying trend to roll down the pike recently is this ‘exclusive’ release by musicians into certain stores, most notably Wal-Mart. The Eagles started the trend, and let’s be honest the only trend they should be responsible for is the impending one where aging Baby Boomers drive their SUV’s off of a cliff listening to The Long Run. Anyway, the Eagles released their latest album exclusively through Wal-Mart and made millions, prompting other bands with fans that will actually buy their albums to follow suit. Azoff is like all managers, looking to squeeze every possible dime from these companies because he gets a couple of pennies from that dime. He doesn’t care what it means to anyone else. AC/DC is the latest to join the trend, but you know what? This trend sucks, because Wal-Mart sucks. Very simple math. If I have to give up a little bit of my soul just to enter and shop there, I can only imagine what deal with Satan that Azoff and these bands have to agree to for these deals. I know Sam Walton is already roasting over a slow spit in Hell, I hope they saved room for Irving Azoff, he deserves to spend his eternity with a hot poker shoved up his, well you get the idea.