Friday, October 24, 2008

The Rehab 5

1. Celebrity Rehab – Wow, what a horrific trainwreck that show is. Steven Adler? Tawny Whatever-the-hell-her-name-is? Gary Busey? I get the fact that these people have issues, serious issues, but who was the genius in their lives who decided that letting the public witness their horrible, horrible lives and struggles was a good idea? A local radio DJ said that he feels a world without a crazy, addicted Gary Busey is no world for us to live in and I have to agree, and I’ll go a bit further. A world where it isn’t possible to see mugshots of Tawny after she has beaten her husband with a shoe is no place for us either. Maybe she can make her comback on the hood of a military-grade HUMVEE, 'cause I don’t think that the Jag can take the weight anymore.

2. Beyonce – is now Sasha Fierce, or something crazy like that. What is it about these “artists” having alternate personas? Here’s a crazy thought, why not make an album full of good songs and promote the hell out of it? Maybe she can create another persona, one where she is talented and not scary as hell and full of herself?

3. Pirates – are still holding hostages? Really? How does this happen? Didn’t the Jolly Roger flying on the galleon’s mast give the crew a hint? Are they asking for doubloons and casks of rum?

4. Bye Lute – No, not a musical instrument of course, but Lute Olson is stepping down from his job as wildcat coach. I've never met Lute, but among high school basketball coaches, I have heard too many stories about how arrogant and insufferable he is. It is nice to see the man's true colors come out. Too bad Wildcat fans, your team is going down the crapper and Tucson is still a toilet. Suck it!

5. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans – or some stupid crap like that is coming out soon. I have to ask why? No Kate Beckinsale in an Underworld movie? The only point of those crapfests is the opportunity to ogle Kate in a variety of Latex/Leather outfits. The new girl just aint cutting it either. I guess that saves me 95 minutes of my life. 95 minutes I could be reading crap on the world wide interweb.

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