Monday, June 15, 2009

When Michael Bay and Dreamworks Tried to Kill the Internet

1. The concept of the Transformers came from a line of kid’s toys. The concept of Megan Fox came out of millions of male fantasies. I’m sorry, but is this woman even human? I’m not sure I believe it. I’ve said it before, she may be dumber than a box of rocks (and in every interview she’s ever done she bears this out) but she is amazingly attractive. Hopefully the new Transformer movie isn’t as stupid as it could be.

2. So I’m browsing the net and came across this photo:

Now when I had heard that Phil Spector was accused of killing a woman and saw all of the accompanying photos, I believed it (because after OJ, you know LAPD isn’t going to arrest an entertainment figure without some good evidence), but thought that Spector was just some goofy old music dude who did something stupid. Then you start to read about what a sick bastard he was, and now you see his booking photo and you’re shocked that you haven’t read about him burying people in his cellar and eating their flesh. Dude is seriously whacked. I guess he’ll have to get by in the can without his bitchin’ hair.

3. Lauren Conrad wrote a book. WTF?!?!? I guess I’m just surprised that she even knows how to read, let alone write in her own slam book. Oh well, I guess if Kanye can write a book, I shouldn’t begrudge Ms. Conrad. Shouldn’t she be working off the deal she made with Satan rather than writing fiction? Although in her defense, she has had to work with Spencer and Heidi. Never mind, she has earned whatever she gets…

4. Kobe Bryant gets another crack at being Satan’s cabana boy. Only in America can a casual rapist reach the pinnacle of success in their chosen field. Maybe the Devil has better plans for him, but I can’t understand the love given to Kobe by the NBA and their officials. It sickens me.

5. Finally, in Guitar Hero: Van Halen, you can unlock a younger version of Eddie, Alex, and Dave along with Wolfgang dressed up in daddies 1984 tour get up. He’s still the same 18 year old Twinkie eater though. If I were going to delve into fantasy and play 1984 dress-up, I’d have the game programmers give me David Robinson’s body. I mean why the hell not?


cb said...

Phil Spector is deliciously crazy. He used to lock people in the studio at gunpoint and demand they work until they get a perfect take. He also used to make Ronnie drive around with a cardboard cutout of himself so people wouldn't try to pick up on her. Uh. Weirdo.

Also, Megan Fox is attractive... but all I see is white noise. There's got to be a thousand just like her in Hollywood. I'd like a little more character in my Barker Beauty.

Anonymous said...

I hope this Spector guy is not your idea of eye candy for the girls....You guys get to ogle Megan Fox and this is what we get!! I always knew there was no justice in the world....

Homer said...


Actually, CB, I agree to an extent with Ms. Fox, she is white noise, eye candy. Beyond that there isn't much, or there doesn't appear to be much. I disagree that there are that many of them around, I think she's distinctive.

On a side note, In Touch or one of that ilk had a cover suggesting a catfight between Fox and Jolie...mmmmmm that sounded like a pay-per-view event.

diane said...

I agree with CB 100% on Fox. And I am tired of hearing about her "bisexuality" and all of the other nonsense she spews trying to convince everyone how sexy/sexual she is. We get it. You like to do it. And we see you half-naked ALL THE TIME. I am so over it.