Monday, December 18, 2006

Self-check out lines; indecisive drivers; Edward Van Halen

Three things that just make me want to scream. I was in Wal-Mart today (which is the topic of a completely different rant altogether) to deposit a check and grab a couple of things for dinner. I was the third person in line in a self-check out line. The two people in front of me didn't look qualified to breathe and blink their eyes at the same time let alone operate that intricate piece of machinery. When you consider the quality of individual that mans the check-out lane at the local Wal-Mart, this should tell you something. These people should have been hunted down and sterilized so they could live happily without the responsibility of children or what their progeny might do to the culture of our fine country.

Indecisive drivers is a topic that has been taken on by far better writers and thinkers than I but they still deserve mention in this rant along with stupid Wal-Mart people and Eddie Van Halen, because these are all people who should by all rights know better than to do the stupid crap they do. I think I have alluded to the fact that Van Halen is going to tour with his son as the bass player. His son, who is almost sixteen and been playing the bass for about five months now. But he is some kind of musical genius. The really sad part is that there are people out there defending EVH. What a joke. Van Halen the band is dead. The quicker the corpse realizes this the happier we'll all be. What is really funny is that they are trying to get David Lee Roth as their frontman, as if it were 1986 again. Obviously Ed didn't see any of the publicity from DLR's bluegrass/Van Halen album. Horrifying. What a summer is in store for us all: there will be more and more Wal-Marts built, Van Halen will be touring with the Crypt-master singing lead, a living corpse playing guitar and a neophyte musician playing live for the first time; and all of the sane people will be driving with their head on a swivel to try and avoid all of them.

No comments: