Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Back to Normal 5

1. Death and Poetry – In more death news, the son of Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath committed suicide over the weekend. Talk about a depressing family circle. Plath, for those of you who aren’t feminist writers or English majors, was an American poet who wrote some very interesting, troubled poetry back in the mid-60’s. She had attempted suicide several times before finally succeeding after her husband, poet Ted Hughes, left her for another woman. The other woman killed herself a few years later, and now Nicolas Hughes has joined in the family tradition. It’s a sad ending to a sad story. Go read some Sylvia Plath, it is some good stuff.

2. DEA Wants Money – Apparently the DEA wants that money that was flying around a California highway over the weekend. They are studying video accounts of the story for clues to the identities of people who stopped along the road to pick up cash. Gee, this is a great use of DEA manpower and funds. Meanwhile I can walk onto any high school or college in the US and score any kind of drug I want. Smart government.

3. Handcuffs – So a Connecticut woman decided to use handcuff in the least sexy way possible, outside of a bestiality arrest. She just wanted to talk to her estranged husband, so she handcuffed herself to him while he slept and when he tried to get away she bit and assaulted him. I wonder why he’d want to leave a winner like her? I don’t quite understand…

4. Julia Roberts – I think I’ve been pretty clear on my view of Julia Roberts in the past (short recap: she needs to be sent to the glue factory), but today I read about how uncomfortable she was shooting love scenes with Clive Owens in their latest film. Imagine how he must have felt, probably like the actor who played Kelly in Clerks 2, but I digress. The worst part for Roberts was the fact that her son was on set watching, making her uncomfortable. Gee, why would that bother anyone? I just hope Jenna Jameson isn’t taking parenting tips from Julia or her kids are going to be more scarred than they are going to be already.

5. Cindy Crawford thinks she looks “pretty good” according to recent published reports. After looking at the pictures, my only response is “You think?”


Sheri_Beri said...

#2, We are deep into a recession, and if I saw cash on the street, I'd pick it up and buy some groceries with it. Anyone who would see a $20 on the ground would, and if you say you wouldn't, you're a liar.

#3, Note to self... don't handcuff yourself to someone that is breaking up with you... That's too ridiculous to even really comment on. Who does that. Idiot.

#5, I saw some of Cindy's pictures this morning and she looks amazing for 23, let alone 43! I'm shocked you didn't put any pictures of her on here!

Renee said...

Julia Roberts is awesome and totally worth every penny the studios spend on her.. Just kidding.

diane said...

The DEA are a bunch of losers.
Kelly from Clerks 2? That's really bad. Poor Clive Owen. Maybe he likes Jello?

Anonymous said...

Plath: Is that who Moe gets his inspiration from w.r.t. sticking his head in the oven?

What a big mouth you have Julia? All the better to kiss (+ more) you with Homer.

I would have thought that guys would classify the big mouth as an asset but I guess Homer thinks differently.


Homer said...

There is something about Julia that just rubs me wrong. I don't like her movies, I don't care for her persona. I believe her to be one of the most unattractive women working in Hollywood, possibly ever.

She can go rot.