Thursday, April 16, 2009

Break-time is Over

Back to the hate, today's post is not for the faint of heart...enjoy.

1. Salma Hayek – In the comments of the Sham-Pow post I made reference to the fact that I’d post more about boobs. Well, here is what I consider to be the best boobs in Hollywood not named Ashton. Salma is ridiculously hot and her rack should inspire people in the hills to sing songs about it. You know it’s a killer rack when Prince is writing about it, I mean c’mon Prince isn’t exactly inexperienced in that way, if you know what I mean. Feel free to disagree, you'll just be wrong, that's all.

2. Hulk Hogan = OJ The big news today is that Hulk Hogan understands OJ and his killing his ex-wife. Let that sink in for a moment. Just because some 19 year-old dude is desperate enough for the attention to want to get with that mess that Hulk was married to is no reason to want to ‘OJ’ anyone. Look at Mel Gibson, his wife is going to walk away with around $450 million dollars – cash – and is Mel getting ready to turn his wife into a Pez dispenser? No, he’s out there sleeping with Russian models, a much more effective way to deal with rage and grief issues. I remember back in the day when Hulkimania was all about taking your vitamins and drinking your milk, now it seems that the Hulkster really wants to kill his wife and bang his daughter…I mean sleep with his daughter’s friends. The older I get, the more the world sucks.

3. Have you twatted? Apparently there is some sort of competition between Demi Moore’s husband (whose name escapes me because he’s done nothing worthwhile since the last time he pulled out of Demi) and CNN for twitter subscribers. I can think of no other commentary about our society than this. CNN – they can give you updates about what is going on in the world. Demi’s husband might give you another photo of her ass in a bikini (taken courtesy of his Nikon endorsement I’m sure). Why doesn’t someone photoshop this guy’s head onto the body of the dork railing Ms. Ex-Hulk and solve a couple of problems for all of us?

4. Protests – I was in a meeting today about something or other when someone asked if they were aware about the tea-bagging at the capitol yesterday? Really? Just yesterday? I was under the impression that the government has been tea-bagging us for quite a while now.

5. Quote of the week – “Sit ups made birth easy” This was attributed to Jenna Jameson. Really? It couldn’t have been that the only reason those kids didn’t fall out of that busted up vag was the fact that the two of them bottle-necked up in the canal? Seriously Jenna, the fact that going down on you would be more like spelunking than a sex act might have more to do with the ease of your birth than your rigorous work-out regimen. Just a thought.


Renee said...

And that, my friends, is how you internet.

diane said...

I heart Salma and her boobs.
Amen on the spelunking in Jenna's vag. The best description ever.

Sheri_Beri said...

This is one of those times you come out to your family.... I love Salma. She's so beautiful. I hate her. lol

I think Hulk should just do what anyone in his position should do... Reality show, lookin for love! It'll be called 'Hulk of Love' since VH1 can't seem to be original at all with these show names... They should call it, "Wrestle my Heart"! LOL... Just a thought.

And P.S. I see how much you hate Ashton, but at least he was doing it for a cause, not just because. I wish that cause would've been to pay some of my bills but whatever.

Anonymous said...

Ah! The long awaited boob post.

Grammar note: When better is used in a sentence, it does not mean that one of the 2 verbs (or nouns) being compared is good in an absolute sense... e.g. It is better to vomit than to swallow poison....

But Touche! You did use my earlier comment to you advantage :-)

Salma is hot! Keep this up and I may consider switching factions....
Ashton: Sheri, I think he is just jealous.