Monday, April 20, 2009
Cartography in the 21st Century
1. Paris Hilton described her current boyfriend to the press this weekend as ‘perfect.’ No one really knows what this means except for his obvious ability to repel herpes, syphilis, and the like. Oh, and the ability to be in Paris’ presence for more than 37 seconds and being able to stifle the urge to disembowel her with a broken machete.
2. According to some random scientists, the area of the Four Corners the southwest United States has been surveyed incorrectly. The Four Corners tourist spot is about 2.5 miles off. It has just come to light ever since the area was defined over one hundred years ago. Very nice. Tell me, does it ever worry you that these are the people who we entrust trillions of dollars to, and they cannot even make a respectable map? Magellan had it down 500 years ago, what the hell is the government’s problem? Buster Bluth could get this right. (On a side note, I have been to the four corners and for all that people blather that it is a tourist trap, I thought it was pretty cool, now I feel cheated)
3. Lindsay’s back on men. Are we 100% certain that Sam Ronson was a woman? I need a clarification on this before I can accept this story. I’ll bet that many women in the greater Los Angeles area are breathing easier today. Of course, all males remotely connected with the entertainment industry or the night-club circuit are all terrified and taking at least one cycle of zithromax. I’d suggest some valtrex as well, but hey, what’s life without some risk.
4. Amy Winehouse wants to adopt a baby. Really? To raise or for the baby’s fats and emollients? How is she not dead yet? Somebody better explain this to me, or get the shotgun because we are about to enter Shaun of the Dead territory.
Posted by Homer at 4:45 PM