Black Swan
Genre: Psychological (Supernatural?) Thriller
Premise: A ballerina competes against a rival dancer who may or may not be another version of herself.
About: Black Swan will star drool-worthy starlets Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis and is being helmed by visionary director Darren Aronofsky. Aronofsky originally tried to set up the project in 2007 but Universal put it in turnaround. Thanks to "The Wrestler" doing so well though, Portman twirled onto the project a couple of months ago and everything's been full steam ahead since.
Writer: Mark Heyman (original script by John McLaughlin)
Details: 131 pages - March 25, 2009 draft.Can I just tell you why none of my review matters? Can I just tell you why my review is absolutely pointless?
Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex.
Yeah. You read that right. And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We're talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex. Yeah so...this movie is already on the must-see list of 2010. But how good is it? Does the story that surrounds the sex disappoint or excel?
I haven’t done this in a while, so this should be fun….
Mike and Mike in the Morning used to have a segment every week called Just Shut Up!, where they nominated people who have said something stupid over the past week to just shut their word-hole. I like the idea so here’s three nominees from the weekend:
Anyway, this will be semi-recurring, as people say stupid shit. Enjoy!
GLENDALE - 911 calls normally aren't funny -- but when a Glendale man came home to a man robbing his house over the weekend, he tackled him and held him still while talking on the phone to a 911 dispatcher.
Homeowner Perry Bigley told a 911 operator, "I have the robber in one hand and the phone in the other."
Officers arrived to the home in the 4600 block of W San Juan where they found the victim on top of the suspect, holding him down.
Bigley told police he came home through the garage about 4 a.m. and found the storage door open. He then spotted the suspect going rifling through his DVDs.
On the 911 tape, Bigley says, "All I am doing is holding him down on the ground… He's saying he can't breathe he's tried to run twice but I caught him in my home."
"Look please stop struggling... we're going to wait here and were going to wait for the cops to come."
The suspect told Bigley there were other robbers upstairs, but they got away and ran down the street. The burglars took six TVs, a stereo, a laptop and a digital camera -- about $11,000 worth of electronics.
Police are still searching for the rest of the suspects.
So there I am watching The Soup when my eyes were accosted by a commercial of E!’s latest television abonination. Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian are in Miami and E! is going to subject the world to their inane travels. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to care about these freaks. Look, I get that Kim is pretty hot, but why exactly am I supposed to follow her uglier, and apparently less talented** and interesting** siblings on television? Is E! that hard up to fill time? I know that Holly Madison hasn’t gotten her own show yet, so there are depths to be mined here. Anyway, it made me long for the days of Senor Sock and the days when Bruce Jenner was still a relevant due to his accomplishments, not just for having a douchebag son and a needy stage mom for a wife. I'm going to go scrub my eyes now.
** I am only guessing here, I'm still not sure why Kim's famous other than her 'leaked' tape (see what I did there?).
Into this:
ROME - A romantic wedding in the Tuscan countryside ended with injuries after an attempt to launch the bride's bouquet from a plane brought down the tiny aircraft.
Italian police say two people were hurt in the crash of the ultralight plane after the bridal bouquet they launched got caught in the aircraft's rear rotor.
The flowers blocked the engine, bringing the plane down by a youth hostel.
Police in the nearby town of Piombino said Tuesday the pilot was lightly injured in Saturday's crash, while the passenger who threw the bouquet had several broken bones.
The bride and groom were not aboard the plane.
So a Washington teacher got in trouble this week:
YAKIMA, Wash. - A Washington kindergarten teacher who sent a 5-year-old student home with a bag of feces tucked in his backpack has been formally reprimanded.
A West Valley School District official warned teacher Sue Graham in a letter that similar behavior in the future will result in disciplinary action, including termination.
The boy's father had said his son arrived home in April with the plastic bag of feces and a note that read "This little turd was found on the floor in my room."
The boy was moved out of Graham's classroom after the incident.
The May letter was released Thursday in response to a public disclosure request from KIMA-TV. The district had previously said "appropriate action" was taken against the longtime teacher.
So what exactly is the problem? The kid needs to learn to shit in a toilet. People are so uptight these days...they need to remember, poop is funny!
1. A Tea-bag Party!!! Yeah, I know that it sounds like a bad Ben Affleck/Kevin Smith story, but people around the country are banding together on Saturday to protest taxes and the direction of America by tea-bagging each other. I call that my normal Saturday night, and quite frankly I'm guessing it will be about as successful.
It is always interesting to see how our culture reacts to the deaths of our celebrities. This week has been fascinating to me with the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. Each one of these people were clearly past their prime productive years as entertainers, each one well past any real success, but the reaction to each passing has been different.
I am most dismayed by the universal love that Michael Jackson is receiving. I understand that he was such a cultural icon in his youth. I lived through it. I watched the videos, I listened to the music, and I was also paying attention as his life slowly devolved into a freak-show of his own devising. From the chimps, to the amusement park he built for himself, to the ghastly plastic surgery nightmare that became his face, he became his own worst enemy. This doesn’t even address the child molestation situations. I have heard people try to downplay the allegations as opportunist parents and a parasitic media, and I have to agree that these people have their own part to play in this saga, but no one invented the ‘Jesus Juice,’ or the adult alarms in his bedroom. Yes, Michael was a victim of abuse from his father, and his situation should be a warning to all parents who push their children into show business (the Lohans, Spears, Caulkins, etc could have taken heed), but this doesn’t absolve him of his responsibility to those kids who were around him.
So rather than deify a man so deeply flawed, I’ll celebrate the other two, who were both undeniably less influential (and neither was perfect by any means), but infinitely more respectable. Farrah and Ed, I tip my cap to you, and move on with my day. Maybe I’ll read a book.
1. The concept of the Transformers came from a line of kid’s toys. The concept of Megan Fox came out of millions of male fantasies. I’m sorry, but is this woman even human? I’m not sure I believe it. I’ve said it before, she may be dumber than a box of rocks (and in every interview she’s ever done she bears this out) but she is amazingly attractive. Hopefully the new Transformer movie isn’t as stupid as it could be.
2. So I’m browsing the net and came across this photo:
Now when I had heard that Phil Spector was accused of killing a woman and saw all of the accompanying photos, I believed it (because after OJ, you know LAPD isn’t going to arrest an entertainment figure without some good evidence), but thought that Spector was just some goofy old music dude who did something stupid. Then you start to read about what a sick bastard he was, and now you see his booking photo and you’re shocked that you haven’t read about him burying people in his cellar and eating their flesh. Dude is seriously whacked. I guess he’ll have to get by in the can without his bitchin’ hair.
3. Lauren Conrad wrote a book. WTF?!?!? I guess I’m just surprised that she even knows how to read, let alone write in her own slam book. Oh well, I guess if Kanye can write a book, I shouldn’t begrudge Ms. Conrad. Shouldn’t she be working off the deal she made with Satan rather than writing fiction? Although in her defense, she has had to work with Spencer and Heidi. Never mind, she has earned whatever she gets…
4. Kobe Bryant gets another crack at being Satan’s cabana boy. Only in America can a casual rapist reach the pinnacle of success in their chosen field. Maybe the Devil has better plans for him, but I can’t understand the love given to Kobe by the NBA and their officials. It sickens me.
5. Finally, in Guitar Hero: Van Halen, you can unlock a younger version of Eddie, Alex, and Dave along with Wolfgang dressed up in daddies 1984 tour get up. He’s still the same 18 year old Twinkie eater though. If I were going to delve into fantasy and play 1984 dress-up, I’d have the game programmers give me David Robinson’s body. I mean why the hell not?
